Some people are incredibly generous with grace, just not toward themselves. They offer understanding when others make mistakes. They are patient when friends fall short. They remind loved ones that everyone is human and nobody is perfect. They are quick to encourage others and slow to judge. Yet when they themselves make a mistake, the rules suddenly change.

Self-esteem is developed over time, and many things—early relationships, life events, cultural messages, emotional traumas—all play a role in how self-esteem grows.

We narrate our life’s story according to the meaning we make of our experiences. The meaning we make, however, can be drastically different depending on whether we narrate using a biblical perspective—one revealing Jesus as the saving grace of all humanity—or not. Without Jesus’ perspective interpreting the details, we can get stuck in a narrative that is insecure, defeated, and lacking in grace for ourselves and others. 

Think for a moment about the close relationships you have in your life, or the people you like being around. How do they make you feel? How do they make you feel about yourself?

Lauren Wycuff, LPC offers seven measures to assess your level of self-esteem and examine the beliefs you have about yourself.

Instead of thinking you need to fill yourself with new skills to attain self-worth, really what needs to happen is the opposite. You need to uncover what already exists within you.