Womanhood: Living the Single Life
In the first installment of her series on womanhood, Resna reflects on the experience of being single as a young woman. Keep an eye out for Resna’s other articles on marriage, motherhood, and menopause.
I love living in an area where I can experience the beauty of all the seasons. Although fall is my absolute favorite time of the year, I look forward to the newness in spring, the excitement in summer, and the coziness in winter. Each season offers its own unique benefits.
As women, we also have seasonal changes. Over the years we can go through the seasons of singleness, marriage, motherhood, empty nesting, and menopause. There is something to learn from each of these seasons.
The season of singleness
There is much excitement when a young woman leaves the nest and begins her journey separate from her parents. However, she may also experience fear as she steps into deeper water. She may feel unheard and misunderstood. If this is you, I hope to offer some encouragement in singleness as you begin your transition into womanhood.
Starting with who you are
The Bible tells us that we are wonderfully made. We are perfectly designed by God. The God that made the world and all that is in it made you!
As women, we need to fully embrace who God has made us to be in each season of our lives. Young single women are caught in the midst of various processes: transitioning into adulthood and independence from their parents, establishing their own worldview, forming and sometimes removing friendships, and deciding what they really want to be when they “grow up.” This is also a time when many of those in a person’s peer group begin to marry and become parents. In this stage, we look ahead at how we want our life to be and make decisions that we hope will lead us to our end goals.
Unfortunately, we sometimes place (or allow others to place) unrealistic expectations on ourselves, leaving us feeling as if we failed or are not “adult enough” when we don’t reach these life goals.
Here’s the thing, ladies: we only really need to be focused on today! God tells us tomorrow has enough trouble. Just concern yourself with today—this season.
How you begin sets how you end
Young single ladies, you have the opportunity to determine what you will prioritize in life. This helps you make decisions today that will help you in the future.
I would like to suggest something that should become a big priority: self-care. Your body is a gift. We care for the things we treasure. The Bible says you are a royal priesthood. You are an heir to God’s monarchy. How are you caring for yourself?
Self-care essentials
As you begin to form an understanding of self-care, here are three things to keep an eye on:
1. Prioritize sleep. An Important part of self-care is sleeping well. Establishing a habitual sleep routine will help you not only be physically able to perform throughout the day but will also help mentally. We feel better when we are well-rested. We make better life decisions when we have sufficient sleep. So often sleep hygiene is underrated. While single, you do not want to ignore this aspect of self-care.
2. Practice good nutrition. The importance of healthy eating cannot be overstated. Caring for ourselves well is choosing wisely how and when we eat. This is a habit that is well worth creating. I have been on countless diets, but what I have found most helpful is the importance of being an intuitive eater. We want to know ourselves and our feelings to understand what triggers us to eat foods that are not the best for us. Everything God made is good. However, if you are a diabetic, eating highly carbonated foods may not be good for you. It is wise to see a professional nutritionist to help us become more thoughtful with our food choices.
3. Find community. Try not to isolate yourself. In singleness, it can be easy to get used to living our daily lives alone. God did not place us on an island by ourselves. He placed us in communities. Your first community is your family of origin. We learn to love, forgive, reconcile, rejoice, and mourn together in our “family community.” The Bible tells us there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Life is challenging and “full of trouble,” and you need friends/people/community to help walk the journey with you. In your quest for independence, don’t forget the importance of connection to others. While you are single, you have more time to serve others, to participate in church ministry, to gather with family and friends. Do not ignore the value of relationships. This is also the opportune time to try new things and discover your passions.
Every moment in your life is a defining moment. As a young single woman, this is your moment to define who you will be. Looking ahead and planning for your future is wise. However, try to take today and cherish the woman you are right now. You’re not perfect, but you’re constantly growing and maturing. You will never “arrive”—even with the perfect husband, children, house, job, etc. But you are always evolving into the extraordinary woman God has ordained you to be.