What Is Attachment Theory?

AnxietyPsychology
Written By Rachel Schwindt

In the beginning, there was relationship.

We see the relational essence of God right from the start. In Genesis, God describes Himself in the plural as He creates man saying, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (1:26). This gives us the first picture of the Trinity or the three-in-one nature of God.

We see the importance of relationship again as the creation account continues. God notices something is missing after creating man: “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him’” (2:18). Throughout the creation narrative, God creates and calls all things “good.” But then God recognizes that man is alone, and that that needs to change. God Himself is relational and since day one of our existence, He created us to be in relationship—to Himself and to one another.

Intro to Attachment Theory

Since relationship is at the heart of who we are as people, it makes sense that relationships are discussed often in therapy. One way of discussing relationships comes out of Attachment Theory. 

In the 1950s, psychoanalyst John Bowlby began studying human relationships, specifically between infants and their primary care providers. Before Bowlby and his Attachment Theory, the prevailing attitude was that attachment is simply a learned behavior. The infant needs sustenance and the mother provides it; therefore, the infant learns to attach to the source of nourishment (mom). Bowlby believed that attachment to others is much more than a learned behavior, but is an innate emotional and psychological bond to others that gives us comfort, enjoyment, and meaning.

Psychologist Mary Ainsworth furthered Bowlby’s work, finding that the quality of the relationship and the ability of the caregiver to attune to the infant’s needs predicted the type of attachment the child would form with them and later in other relationships. From this study, four types of attachment styles were determined: secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

These styles of attachment characterize, typically, how individuals relate to themselves and others. When deciding which style best fits an individual, we assess whether they have a more positive or negative view of self and whether they have a more positive or negative view of others. Typically, someone with an avoidant style of attachment has a more positive view of self and a negative view of others. In anxiously attached individuals we see the reverse, and in disorganized attachments we see both a negative view of self and others.

As we move through this series, we will take a look at each of these attachment styles in depth. Now, we will focus on secure attachment.  

What Is Secure Attachment?

When we think of someone with secure attachment, we see a person who has both a positive view of self and others. Typically, these folks are categorized as having healthy and stable relationships, and most likely had a primary caregiver who was well attuned to their needs. 

By “well attuned” we mean that the parent or primary caregiver was able to meet the needs of their child most of the time. This created a relationship based on trust and accountability in which the child learned they could depend upon their caregiver and that their caregiver would always be there. Because of this dependable trust as the child developed, they learned that they had a secure home base as they began to explore the world around them. They began to see the world as a generally safe place with people who will be there when you need them. 

In adulthood, secure attachment creates a healthy dynamic of autonomy and community. The individual feels safe and secure being alone and values the self, but also has a healthy need and trust in others. Characteristics of secure attachment include the ability to trust others, comfort in opening up to others, self-confidence, and the ability to self-regulate and self-soothe, among others. 

Adults who have secure attachments can best be described as balanced. They have a healthy sense of when they need to be alone and when they need community because of their secure sense of self and others, which was developed during childhood. These folks hold the belief that others can be trusted and that drawing close to others will bring value to their lives. They also hold this same belief about themselves and know that being alone is just as valuable. 

Looking Ahead at Attachment Styles

As we move through this series, you may start to see yourself in some of these styles. I encourage you to reflect as you read and develop curiosity as to where you might fall. None of us are perfect and handle our relationships perfectly (even those with secure attachments). But with some self-reflection and openness, you can grow into healthier attachments with those around you.

Rachel Schwindt
Previous

Intern Spotlight: Simone
Next

In Pursuit of Perfection