The Practice of Gratitude
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“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” - Philippians 4:8
If you’ve heard it once I’d bet you’ve heard it 100 times: practicing the act of gratitude daily benefits mental health. There is much research to indicate that being aware and intentional about gratitude offers significant advantages, things like increased enjoyment of life and relationships. In an article entitled The Power of Gratitude, Dr. Ross E. O’Hara states:
“Being grateful is linked to higher levels of life satisfaction, optimism, vitality, helpfulness, empathy, forgiveness, and positive affect. Gratefulness broadens our perspective on life, allowing us to be more creative and insightful. Gratitude also reduces feelings of envy, negativity, depression, and anxiety. Some have argued that gratitude is central to our relationships with other people and to the human experience as a whole” (Psychology Today, 2024).
Yet, if you are experiencing significant anxiety and/or depression, considering how to increase feelings of gratefulness can be overwhelming, or even shame-inducing. “If I was just more grateful, I wouldn’t feel so low. I deserve to be doing poorly because I am not thankful for all I have.” The reality is, practicing gratitude—especially when experiencing trials of any kind—can be difficult. Please allow me to remove any hint of “you should do this” and, instead, offer what has been helpful for me and what I have experienced watching others who live in gratitude.
Journaling
Practice makes progress. Any skill takes time, intentionality, and effort to grow into a habit. I find journaling to be really helpful in directing thoughts towards gratitude. Taking time each day to write and reflect on all that you experienced that was good, kind, light, joyful, beautiful, and hopeful can instill feelings of positivity and thankfulness. If you forget or feel too down to do that, don’t beat yourself up. Try again the next day. If you can only think of one thing, that’s okay. Write it down. As the days flow into weeks and months, reread your entries. Remembering lovely moments can warm the heart and serve as a reminder of better times when a particular day is hard.
Reframing
My husband has reframing down to a T and is one of the most positive, thankful people I know. When things happen that have the possibility of being very discouraging, he will look at it from a different point of view with faith, curiosity, or hopefulness. An example would be our car breaking down. He will be the first to wonder if maybe we were kept safe from something worse happening to us or others, or to reflect on how long we’ve gone without a mechanic bill. If bad weather derails our outdoor plans, he will remark that it’s the perfect time to see that movie we’ve had our eye on. Wondering how a difficult situation or experience can be FOR you, rather than AGAINST you, can allow feelings of thankfulness. Romans 8:28 tells us God works all things for good; we may not see how at the time, but we can still cling to that truth.
See Something, Say Something
I find this skill to be especially helpful in relationships. Often we observe and think positive things that we don’t verbalize to others. I encourage you to speak up when you notice kindness, goodness, and beauty. If you witness an act of kindness, share how that has impacted you. If someone looks nice, tell them. If your partner is quietly doing chores and you are appreciative, say so. If you notice someone speaking to their child in a loving way and you think, “what a good parent,” share that with them. It not only benefits them in ways you might not ever know, but it will bring life to you as well.
Helpful Inputs
It can be helpful to hear other people talk about what has worked for them on their journey toward being thankful. Here are some resources filled with people doing just that.
Books:
Grateful, Caffeinated, and Held Together by Grace by Grace Andrews
Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
Jesus Calling: Practicing Thankfulness by Sarah Young
Podcasts
Video:
As we head into the Thanksgiving season this month, I encourage you to consider being intentional about growing in the skill of gratitude. It is not always easy, so remember to give yourself grace if you feel stuck in a more negative mindset. Take this journey one day at a time, and be prayerful that God will help direct your eyes and thoughts.