The Human Search for Connection
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The following is a republished article by Dr. Frank Mancuso, the founder of CCCRD. Frank passed away in 2022, but his legacy and approach continue to guide our practice. To honor his life and work, and to keep drawing from his deep well of wisdom, we’ll periodically republish his writings like the one below. We hope you’ll be blessed and encouraged by the words of this impactful counselor and thoughtful friend.
Most of us possess a very strong need for relational connection, which is challenged by the repeated pains of failed and broken relationships. Deeply wounded, self-protected and fearful people strive to keep their relational distance to avoid further vulnerability to hurt and conflict. Those who remain in pursuit of relational connections learn to do so with caution; to see if sufficient trust can be built over time.
A most painful life lesson is learning, “Every relationship is limited!”, without exception, including God. God who walked and talked with Adam said it was not good for Adam to be alone. Alone? He had God! But God recognized the necessity of all of us to have human contact. He gave Eve to Adam—and to Christians the church—for fellowship and as gifts to minister to one another.
Human trust, honesty, love, commitment, and integrity are eventually and repeatedly compromised by limited understanding, mistakes, self-protectionism, and an inherited sin nature. I am not surprised, but saddened, that many fear the needed, almost bottomless depth of intimacy. Consequently, the pain of universal, despairing loneliness thrives in this world. Connecting with others and God helps much, but most people remain fairly defended against getting and remaining too close to others so as to limit exposure to potent, relational pain.
Importantly, we are created in the likeness of a highly relational God. The Trinity is in constant relationship with each other. He created angels and us to join in the Holy Community. We enter that Community the amazing moment He crosses over the physical human barrier to live within us. And we are to continue in Community through heartfelt prayers, and through the courageously revealing and intimate relationships we have with our marital and spiritual families.