Replacing Screens, Embracing Presence
Photo courtesy of Freepik
In this ongoing series about screen usage, I have shared at length about the problems facing our society when we use screens in excess. Though they have great benefits as tools, electronics also come with a cost. In this final portion of the series, I hope to make a case for replacing screen usage with more helpful alternatives, namely boredom, slowness, and presence.
The Problem
While troubling content online and on TV can be worrisome, what I find more concerning is the difficulty people have in establishing limits and boundaries for screen usage. It has become too easy to tune into a screen. There is little to no friction creating pause between the urge and the engagement. The result? All otherwise unengaged time is increasingly being converted into screen time. Via the cell phone, screens have evolved to take up a primary position in most people’s daily life and we use them to fill in all gaps: to pass time and entertain, to feed the illusion that we’re being efficient, to ease boredom, to avoid social awkwardness in person, and yet also to find human connection. I would imagine most people are aware of this, but we are failing to see the long-term implications. Constant screen engagement takes up the space we have to experience the real world in the present. We are missing out on life!
If you have not read my previous suggestions on this issue and how to notice it in your own life, you can do so here: Screen Addiction(?), Reclaiming Your Life From Screens. Awareness and a solid motivation will be your first steps toward change. Once you know what you’re moving away from, you can focus on what you’re moving toward.
Embracing Boredom and Slowness
What I suggest we seek instead of screens is slowness and presence, to allow ourselves to be bored. As an experiment, the next time you’re waiting in line or waiting to go in for an appointment, let yourself sit in the silence. Tolerate the discomfort and settle into the present moment. It’s okay to recognize awkwardness and your desire for stimulation, but see how long you can hold off on seeking a screen. Just like small children need free play without direction, even grown-ups need to experience the risk of exploration, trial, and error. There is a beauty in boredom, in the freedom to let your attention wander as it will in your surroundings. It means you are simply being and living in the present moment without attempting to make time move faster or distracting yourself from the now.
It’s true that we don’t like to be bored. Studies have shown that humans have a strong dislike for monotony and boredom, even to the point that we will seek food or pain just to break it up (Nederkoon et al 2016, Havermans et al 2015). But, the ability to handle being bored well is a superpower. If you can increase your ability to slow down and tolerate the discomfort of boredom, you are actually increasing your own autonomy over your life. Humans have the need to experience the peace that comes in slow moments in order to regulate and reduce stress. If we avoid all the slow moments, it’s as if we simply move from one excitement or tragedy to the next, and life becomes a constant up and down with no relief or control in the middle. We do not thrive on constant stimulation, consumption, and chaos.
Developing a Sense of Self
Reducing time on screens and increasing your daily presence has many benefits, top among them being the development of the self. In those gaps that you used to fill with videos, texting, social media, and television, you can start to fill in with pieces of you. Activities such as reflecting on yourself, spending time on a hobby, talking to those around you, or pondering new ideas—just to name a few—all aid in the development of the self. Boredom can spur you towards creation, growth, and curiosity rather than consumption. Who are you when you put down your phone? What’s left?
It’s necessary to experience our present in order to build up an identity narrative. When you look back on your life will you be satisfied with how you spent your time? Humans historically have always told stories. Connection happens when we share with others about our lives, and this in turn helps us understand who we are. The more time we spend distracting ourselves from life and speeding from one stimulation to the next, the less stories we have to tell. It isn’t very interesting to tell someone about how many reels you watched or how many influencers you followed today; ultimately, it doesn’t say much about you except that you spend a lot of time on your phone.
The Hope
Boredom can be intimidating. Our own minds and thoughts can be scary. But, boredom and the ability to slow down in this crazy, fast-paced world is a superpower. It allows us much greater autonomy over our lives. It helps us develop the narrative of who we are and empowers us to truly experience life in the present. When we realize that being bored is an opportunity instead of a threat, a world of possibility opens up. Through addressing our screen usage and understanding why we seek constant stimulation, we can make changes and free ourselves to truly live.
Sources:Nederkoorn, C., Vancleef, L., Wilkenhöner, A., Claes, L., & Havermans, R. C. (2016). Self-inflicted pain out of boredom. Psychiatry research, 237, 127–132. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2016.01.063
Havermans, R. C., Vancleef, L., Kalamatianos, A., & Nederkoorn, C. (2015). Eating and inflicting pain out of boredom. Appetite, 85, 52–57. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2014.11.007