The Psychology of Food

What is “good” or “bad” food? 

In discussing the psychology of food and eating disorders, a favorite prompt of Dr. Matt Miller’s is: if you were to make a list of good foods and bad foods what would they be? What types of foods go where? You can pause here and create a list of each yourself. 

Your first thought might be: junk foods, candy, sugary, and fried foods would go on the “bad” list, and fruits and vegetables would go on the “good” list. Instead, he always says “the only bad food should be poisoned or rotten food.” His point is that the only food that is objectively bad is food that will harm us. Thinking this way, it’s really the relationship we have with food that makes it good or bad for us.

This got me thinking more about how bad food could also be food someone is allergic or intolerant to, aka food that causes them pain. Then we can get more specific about diets and preferences, culture, morals, and what someone believes they are allowed to eat. I realized my list kept getting subcategories and I began to wonder where do the justifications for “bad food” stop?

It’s complicated

Our relationship with food is often complicated—it’s almost impossible for it to not be. Food is used to keep our bodies properly functioning. It can also be used in other ways, like to bring people together, for punishment and reward, or as a coping mechanism. For some people, food is tied to shame, taboo topics, and an area of control and abuse. If you have ever tried to change how you eat and found it to be a struggle, then you know that food is far more than just fuel for sustaining life. 

Do you know what your relationship with food is? Here are some questions you can ask yourself about your relationship with food:

• What role does food have in your life? 

• Does your relationship with food fluctuate? If so, what causes it to shift? 

• How did your family handle food growing up? 

• Is that similar or different to how you are with food now?

How are we taught about food?

There are lots of ways that we learn about food and how to relate to it. Here are a couple ways to consider in your life: 

1. Media and food

Most advertisements about food show people enjoying it together. Whether it’s a party or a restaurant, we see images of buffets, feasts, and large portion sizes. The media pushes for everyone to eat as much as they can but also be in perfect fit shape.

Connected to this, it’s now spring which means people are talking about “swimsuit season” and trying to “look good for the summer.” Sure, there are some companies out there trying to get a variety of body shapes to advertise their swimsuits and summer gear, but that’s not the norm. The norm is being fed messages from the stores and media that you can’t enjoy summer or their food without first looking a certain way. 

2. Family and food

Our relationship with food was largely taught to us by our family and peers. Some of the rules we have about food were spoken, like “finish your dinner before you have dessert.” There are also unspoken rules about food as well. For example, with holidays in my family, if there is not enough food for people to take leftovers home for days then the cooks feel they didn’t cook enough. I’ve seen my father get upset over deliciously prepared food that somehow didn’t come out the way he wanted. Feeding people food is basically feeding people love. 

This view of food is so embedded in me that even though I think my father is overreacting every time, I can’t help but get stressed when cooking or baking for others. I become so aware I don’t know their preferences or relationship to food and desire to get it right. I want to love them well, and therefore I tell myself, “I need to cook perfectly.” I have to intentionally slow down and remind myself that most people are just happy to be thought of and get free food. The unspoken rules are sometimes harder to recognize, but because a lot of them go under the radar they can actually cause more damage than the spoken ones.

3. Punishment and reward

Most commonly used with children, and some adults, food is used for punishment or reward. I often have to negotiate with my niece (even if she’s eating food she loves) to eat a bit more before she can have some candy. For an adult, if they’ve “been doing good lately” they might “allow” themselves to eat certain foods or have designated cheat days.

Going back to swimsuit season, it’s even normal for people to use spring as a time to reflect on how much weight they’ve gained over the winter and then focus on watching what they eat. They “enjoyed too much of it,” and now they need to begrudgingly hold back. Food has now become something to be careful of because too many mistakes can lead to a disappointing outcome.

4. Food as comfort

It’s pretty clear our mood can be connected to what we eat. If food becomes a coping mechanism and source of comfort, this means we’ve trained our bodies to release endorphins (the happy chemical) when we get a certain type of food in us. I know someone who eats food because it’s necessary and the fewer spices/flavors the better. Yet, I’ve seen this man, who normally looks stoic, dance and sing when given dessert. Not everyone gets comfort from food the same way.

Considering our relationship with food and where and how we learned it can reveal a lot about how we value and practice eating. Based on the questions that were asked earlier many of us struggle to have a healthy relationship with food. Though we might not necessarily have an eating disorder, some of us may still have disordered eating habits based on our relationship with food. In my next blog, we’ll seek to distinguish between eating disorders and disordered eating.