Read Before Resoluting
If you are like me, you sprint into Christmas wondering where all the time has gone. Then, around December 29th, well-meaning but annoying friends start asking about your New Year’s resolutions. Wanting to seem impressive, you come up with something grandiose that will last until about January 3rd, knowing by then no one will ask about your resolutions because they have already failed at theirs, too. Or maybe you’re “too cool for school” and emphatic that you no longer make resolutions, as they were invented by Fitness-Industrial Complex to sell gym memberships.
Wherever you fall, a new year does offer a chance to engage in the noble undertaking of self-improvement. The following is a process that may provide some assistance.
Three Steps to Building Humility
A number of years ago, I met Major League Baseball great Orel Hershiser. Now, I was a pretty good baseball player back in my youth, but it took all of two seconds upon meeting him to realize why he played professional baseball and I watched professional baseball. He seemed to be twice my size in every way except his stomach (I had him beat there). I got to see his Cy Young Award and his World Series MVP Award as well. It was both an incredibly cool and humbling night.
Something amazing happens when we put ourselves in the presence of those greater than ourselves. It can help us develop humility. Therefore, if you want to develop humility, one way is to regularly put yourself in God's presence through prayer, reading scripture, and seeking godly counsel. If you do, you will come to terms with the reality that there is one God, and you are not Him.
1. Silent Self-Assessment
As a first step, take time over the next week to be silent before God. Ask Him—the creator of the universe who knows everything about us—to tell you what area of your life He would like you to work on this year. It is not for us to decide what area to work on first. Left to our own devices, we may simply be rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The first step in real change begins with humility. It is not we who are the best judge of what we need to change; it is ultimately the Lord.
2. Ask Others to Assess You
A second step would be to set up a couple of “appointments” with people who know you well. Humbly ask them what potential areas of growth they might see for you. Ideally, if you are seeking counsel from the right people and you are properly tuned in, there should be agreement between what is on your heart as you seek God in private and what your friends have shared.
3. Repeat the Process With God and Others
Once you have an idea of what area you would like to work on, the third step would be to seek a deeper understanding of the area during your quiet times with God, along with continued discussions with friends. Understanding the depth and breadth of an issue will aid in coming up with a reasonable and realistic course of change or growth.
Change Requires Humility
I once worked with a couple that was having serious marital problems. I told the man that one of the main reasons his marriage was about to end was that he could not take responsibility for his part in the decline. In the end, I told him that he had been "married" to blaming other people for his problems longer than he had been married to his wife—probably his whole life. He would either need to "divorce" blaming other people, or he was going to divorce his wife.
Moving toward change requires humility and honesty with ourselves. We need to take personal responsibility for our part in the problems in our lives. If we don't take personal responsibility, we leave growth and change in our lives up to others. Blaming others feels good in the short term, but in the long run, avoiding personal responsibility leaves us perpetually stagnant.
So, if the above process of self-assessment has revealed an area where you need to change, this leads to a very important question: how long have you been struggling with this area? If this has been a long-term problem (like blaming others was for my client), you will need to treat the issue with a great deal of respect. Long-standing issues require long-term change.
Read Before Resoluting
Before you make new resolutions for yourself, consider taking these steps of self-assessment. It could increase your likelihood of success. Good luck as you implement long-term practices for long-standing issues—it’s worth it!
