Letting Go of Judgment
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It takes intentionality to live a life free of judgment. There is so much corruption in the world that it's hard to escape the inclination to speak on the shortcomings of others, but letting go of judgment is a wise investment in our own wellbeing. As much as it is detrimental to others, judging is also self-destructive. In contrast, practicing kindness and compassion toward others guides our hearts away from judgmental thoughts and words against ourselves as well.
The Example of Nonjudgmental
Being nonjudgmental is a hard discipline, but one that is mutually beneficial for us and others. Jesus sets the example of extending grace to those around us. When we do as He did, we position ourselves for the same to be afforded to us. Sometimes it may seem hard to extend grace to someone when we feel they don’t deserve it, but the cross of Jesus is a constant reminder that all have sinned and yet He came into the world to reconcile us back to Himself, to put condemnation to rest. He also remembers the measure of grace that we have extended to others, and He extends grace to us in the same measure when we need it.
Practice Being Nonjudgmental
As you seek to follow Jesus’ example, here are some exercises to help you practice letting go of judgement:
Exercise 1 - Be curious about Intentions
All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord. - Proverbs 16:2
When you find someone’s words or actions offensive, your feelings may be very valid. However, rather than being quick to cast judgment or seek retaliation, you can always choose to withhold judgment and be curious about the person’s intentions. God looks at a person’s motives, so that’s a good place for us to turn our attention when we are pondering an appropriate response to an offense. Consider three responses:
You can give the person the benefit of the doubt and assume they have good intentions.
You can give the offense to God and trust Him for the outcome.
You can seek conversation and ask questions, being curious about the person’s intentions.
Perhaps these options might work in combination with one another or by selecting the best response in the moment. The goal is to slow down the interaction in order to give you time to make a conscious decision to withhold judgment and allow yourself to be curious.
Exercise 2 - Balloons to Heaven
Take some time to ponder your thoughts about others—particularly others who have hurt you—and specifically look for any judgmental, condemning, and bitter thoughts. Use this diagram to write down anything that comes to mind on the balloons pictured. Once you have filled all the balloons, close your eyes and imagine yourself releasing the balloons to heaven one by one and commend them into God’s hands. Pray to God that He would change your heart away from having judgmental thoughts and ask Him to bring any other judgmental thoughts to your mind so that you may continue to release them to Him. After you have completed this exercise, any time you notice these kinds of thoughts entering your mind, visualize yourself releasing them to heaven by balloon.
Exercise 3 - Think Positive
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8
A wise decision might be to filter our experiences through a biblical lens. With the help of the Holy Spirit, and a loving heart posture, we can become more proficient in seeing God’s hand in whatever we are experiencing. This might look like being optimistic and hopeful, seeing challenges as growth opportunities, being solution-focused rather than problem-focused, and practicing gratitude. Take some time and ponder Phillipians 4:8. Consider what Paul is saying here that might be helpful in maintaining a positive mindset. Which adjectives stand out for you? How can you apply them to your life? Journal about your experience.
Change Over Time
Learning to be nonjudgmental does not happen overnight. It is not easy, but it is worthwhile. I pray that you would feel God with you every day, helping to shape you into someone who goes through life with the kindness and compassion of Jesus.