Unsettled
Photo courtesy of Freepik
The word “unsettled” can bring a lot of things to mind, like the uneasiness about a risky decision, the feeling that something just isn’t right, or that something is missing. Sometimes it’s a vague feeling that eludes all the correct words or phrases to describe it. But there are other times when you know exactly what is wrong: you don’t have enough money, you’re feeling stuck in the wrong job, or you have no permanent place to live. If we are all honest, none of us are immune to going through these kinds of seasons and we have all experienced that unsettled, wandering feeling at some point or in some way for whatever period of time. And it turns out that we are especially susceptible to sin when we don’t have what we want or need or we find ourselves lacking. So what do we do with these moments?
A Story of Unsettledness
As they wandered the wilderness around Mt. Sinai, the ancient Israelites of the Bible did not know when they would be settled. God had made a covenant with them and promised them a land, but He did not instantly transfer them from Egypt to Canaan. They had to wander first, and wander they did, for 40 years. They followed God’s presence in a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night (Exodus 13:21-22, 33:14, Numbers 9:15-23), and even their day to day was up for changing as the pillar could move suddenly after a day or a week or more. And, as they were in a desert, they were reliant on God to provide them with their daily most basic needs: food and water (which did, in fact, show up every day without them lifting a finger). But when people got sick of being unsettled, when they got tired of their miraculous bread and meat, then it was easy for sin to enter the picture, easy for them to fall into resentment and start looking for other things that might fulfill their longings. As the story goes, the Israelites would break the covenant with God over and over.
God’s Presence in Unsettledness
It’s difficult to see the big picture when you’re unsettled, and that was true for the ancient Israelites just as much as for us today. But God’s pillars of cloud and fire were not meant simply as an intersection signal telling the Israelites when to stop and go. They were a divine manifestation of His presence, and presence says something. Among all of their wanderings and difficulties, God chose to be with them. He was the faithful constant in their unsettledness. Wherever they went, there the Lord was. Not even their grumbling could deter Him. And because He was committed to being present He provided—both for their spiritual and their physical needs—while they waited. God is a faithful God.
Value In Unsettledness
The feeling of being unsettled is never easy, but we learn from the story of the Israelites’ wanderings that there might be value even in unsettledness. Perhaps even in those moments God is working to make us aware that He can fill us with His presence, that we don’t ever have to do this alone. We might not have a pillar of fire or a pillar of cloud guiding us these days, but we have His Spirit which is meant to be the source of intimacy and closeness. Instead of resisting our unsettled feelings, instead of focusing on our lack, maybe we can learn to welcome them and see how God meets us in them. Welcoming those feelings transforms them from being a barrier to being a bridge. In a world where most people feel secure based on how much money they have, the kind of home they own, or the kind of car they drive, this is a miracle. The Lord’s ability to enter in and be our joy even through times of wandering surpasses all understanding, and even if our circumstances do not change quickly (or at all), He can move us from being tempted in our lack to waiting curiously in His abundance.