Return to An Age of Innocence
It had been dark for several hours by the time I pulled into my driveway after a long day at work. I trudged up the front step into my house and settled into my couch for a few restful moments. I hadn’t put my feet up for more than a minute or two when I heard the clomping of heeled footsteps approaching from down the hall behind me.
I turned to look and saw one of my sons with a huge grin on his face, wearing a pair of my dress shoes. “Daddy, shoes!” he said, daring me to address his thievery. “ARE THOSE MY SHOES?!” I playfully roared as I leaped out of the sofa seat that had moments before been my coveted haven of rest. He ran as fast as he could while wearing the equivalent of clown shoes on his little feet. I quickly caught him, threw him on a bed, and tickled him until he laughed and laughed and eventually tapped out.
An Experience of Authentic Innocence
As you read this account, perhaps it brings some of your own memories or images to mind. Perhaps you can imagine the little boy, jesting and goading, hoping for a few minutes of play with his father. One notable detail of this story that might not have worked its way into your imagination is that the son who stole my shoes and taunted me was my 5’6”, 115-pound thirteen-year-old son with special needs.
This budding young man is the developmental equivalent of an eight to ten-year-old child in motor skills and anywhere from three to five in cognition. Yet even at the age of thirteen, he gets that panicky, pleasurable boost of adrenalin when he sees me begin the chase. He perceives and experiences the world with wide-eyed excitement and curiosity. We never have to wonder how he feels: it is readily apparent when he is angry, excited, frustrated, ecstatic, sad, or worried. If he wants or needs something, he will let us know. He has maintained an innocent authenticity in a world that undermines and vilifies naivety and genuine openness.
A Study of Childhood Experience
In 2020, four researchers in Canada asked a number of undergraduate students from four different universities to remember an important childhood memory and write a short description in detail (Garlen, 2021). Out of 116 formative memories, 92 included the notion of innocence. Innocence could be associated with being unaware of the pressures and stressors of life, being protected and provided for, or the loss of innocence that comes from adversity. When people look back on their childhood or consider the experience of an optimal upbringing, there is often a nostalgic reminiscence of a time of wonder, curiosity, and new experiences.
Despite positive associations with innocence, it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain childhood innocence in this age of instant access to the obscene and profane. Our culture simultaneously extols and devalues the virtues of childlike innocence, using derogatory descriptors such as “sheltered” and “naïve” about children and teenagers who have been protected from sexualization, partying, and alcohol and drug use. Many schools and libraries now contain books and films introducing young children to such subjects earlier than may be appropriate. Sometimes, the motivation is to deter, but often, the intention is to desensitize and groom.
“Keep Oneself Unspotted From the World”
Regardless of the intention, the loss of innocence that comes with premature or inappropriate exposure robs us of the joy that comes from following God’s design for life. James 1:27 says, “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” To keep oneself unspotted from the world—this is not simply a gentle encouragement targeting children before they have been exposed to the darkness of the world; it is an expectation for followers of Christ throughout life.
And yet we protect our children from the darkness and indulge ourselves, excusing our own thoughts and behaviors as though our age and experience provide immunity to the profane. Luke 6:45 states, “A good man out of the treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” We are all prone to believe that we have a degree of invulnerability in our exposure to violence, profanity, and indecency. Just as Peter refused to believe that he would ever betray Christ, we believe that we’re good enough or strong enough to keep ourselves unspotted from the world, even as we indulge in all the world has to offer.
A Return to Innocence
As we traverse the hardships of life, we bring our experience with us. My son, despite his developmental delays, is not impervious to hardship and heartache. He realizes that he doesn’t get picked for the pickup basketball game, and it hurts. He recognizes that his siblings are further along developmentally, and it hurts. The difference is that he does not allow those past experiences or the difficulties he faces to become the dominant characteristic of his identity.
Our past plays an important part in shaping who we are. But it should not be at the loss of self out of fear or shame. Rather than ushering our children out of the age of innocence, our earnest endeavor should be to maintain certain qualities of innocence throughout our lives.