Counselor Spotlight: Sean

Sean Kelly, LPC shares his counseling journey.

Tell us a bit about yourself. 

I'm a husband and father of two, I'm a lover of film and fairy tales, and I hold very strong convictions on very trivial matters.

What do you do for fun?

I like to read (but don't read enough), watch films (but watch too much), play blues piano, and make up stories for my kids.

Favorite book, movie, or artist?

My favorite movie is It’s a Wonderful Life. As you can probably guess, I try to watch it every Christmas. It’s an emotionally heavy movie, so you have to be almost spiritually prepared in a way to sit down and watch it. At the start of the film, George Bailey is a decent guy, always doing the right thing: giving up on his own desires and dreams and prioritizing the needs of others instead. Yet he’s not a happy guy. He’s envious of his friends who went after their dreams, and it robs him of joy. By the end, after seeing that the world would be much worse off had he never been born, George’s eyes are opened, and he is brimming with gratitude. It’s a reassuring message for me, because some days I find that I can only try to do the right thing and have a hard time doing it cheerfully - but that doesn’t mean that I’m not still having an impact. And then some days, by God’s grace, I can open my eyes a bit more and be grateful.

What does your ideal day look like?

I believe that church is literally Heaven on Earth, so it would have to be a Sunday for me. After the service, and after a nice potluck luncheon, having a couple of hours to relax at home before cooking and hosting a meal with some family or friends. Then winding down the night with a board game and some philosophical discussions by the fire.

Do you have any pets?

Yes! I have a beagle named Shiloh. I got him 11 years ago in my senior year of college, and we’ve been through a lot together. He’s a good boy.

Cake or pie?

You know, I hate to be that guy, but it really depends on the occasion. Don’t put candles on a pie and start singing happy birthday to me; that would be ridiculous. And don’t get me one of those fruit cakes for Christmas; I promise that it’s going right in the trash. Christmas is the time for cookies, not cake. But a carrot cake on my birthday? A homemade apple pie in October? Now we’re talking.

What was your journey to becoming a counselor? 

I didn’t grow up with any faith and became quite disillusioned in young adulthood for many reasons. After years of searching for answers in all the wrong places, I became a Christian. I left a lot of my old life behind, including my plans for a career in Mechanical Engineering. Through a lot of prayer and seeking wisdom from others, God made it very clear that He was calling me to become a Christian Counselor.

Describe your approach to counseling.

First, I would say my approach is teleological, which is a fancy ten dollar word meaning that everything exists for a purpose. This is true on a larger scale: you are here for a purpose. But it’s also true on a smaller scale: your emotions exist for a purpose. For instance, you may come to therapy having difficulties with anger. And generally speaking, anger is there to help you take action against injustice. But this can get out of alignment in many different ways: your anger might turn into bitterness and damage your relationships, or you might be so afraid of being an angry person that you never stand up for what’s right, or your constant struggle with anger might be a distraction from dealing with larger problems in your life. All sorts of problems result when things are not in their proper places, not aligned to their true purposes.

Second, people usually come to therapy in pain and confused. I try to help my clients figure out what their pain is trying to communicate and then take action to get themselves, their minds, their hearts, and their relationships aligned to their true purposes. In order to do that, I have to really get to know my clients, get to know their story. I have to offer them comfort and understanding where they have been wounded and lonely. I have to challenge them at times when they are acting in ways that go against their values. And I have to help them catch a vision for the kind of beautiful life that they want to live and hold on tight to that vision.

What areas of counseling are you most passionate about?

I love helping people develop more satisfying relationships, which is usually a core struggle for anyone coming to counseling, whether they are working through anxiety, depression, trauma, or some kind of addiction. This desire for deeper relationships is often part of the motivation to enter therapy and is almost always the greatest payoff to the work. I also have a passion for helping men discover that their sexual desire is not a curse but a gift (whether they're single or married) that can lead them closer to God and others.

Any advice for someone considering becoming a counselor? 

I consider counseling to be a calling. And I don’t think all careers have to be a calling. If you’re an accountant, you might have been called to be an accountant, but you also might simply have chosen to be one. And that’s not a bad thing at all; in fact, I think it’s wonderful that God often gives us so much freedom to choose (there were many good trees in the garden for Adam and Eve to choose from, not just one). But there seems to be something different about careers in the helping professions, whether it’s pastors, counselors, nurses, police officers, etc. I think you’d hear people in those fields say that they felt a particularly calling to their profession and had that calling confirmed by others. I think you need that deep sense of duty and obligation because there will be times of existential angst when you are tempted to throw in the towel and walk away. When I have those times, knowing that God called me to this work keeps my feet on the ground while I keep trudging up the hill. So my advice would be to make sure that you have a sense of calling and get that confirmed by those whom you love and trust. And if you don’t have that yet, be patient.