Counselor Spotlight: Michel

Michel Snyder, LAC shares her counseling journey.

Tell us a bit about yourself. 

I grew up on the East end of Long Island. At the time it was mostly farms. I'm a PK (pastor’s kid) and my family of origin is quite large (I'm the oldest of 10). South Jersey has been my home for a while now. We live in a lake community which I have come to love. (I do miss the bagels from Long Island.) I'm married to my husband, BJ, and have two boys ages 19 and 16 and a daughter who is 9.

What do you do for fun?

I love being outside and doing things. Going out with friends is my favorite, but, maybe even more, I love doing regular life stuff with them. You can find me gardening, doing yard work, playing pickleball, volleyball, and spikeball, hiking and going to yoga...any activity that isn't golf. I also really enjoy reading and am part of the loveliest book club.  I have unintentionally become a soccer mom. We're in a busy/fun season of watching our kids play sports and its more fun than I would have ever thought. Food is my love language and I especially enjoy trying new foods with other people. Also, I spend a lot of energy trying to avoid food shopping.

Favorite book, movie, or artist?

Favorite movie? That would be Shadowlands, with runner-ups being Gladiator and Batman (with Christian Bale).

What does your ideal day look like?

Currently my ideal day would involve sleeping in, having a cup of coffee with my husband, going to a yoga class, and then coming back and having plenty of time to get ready for the day.  Some kind of family activity, maybe going out on our boat. The day would end with a date with my husband. And, if this day is truly ideal, it also comes with endless amounts of energy and wonderful food made by someone else! The next day would be followed by doing nothing.

Do you have any pets?

Prepare yourself...I am not an animal person. I've tried. We do have an outdoor cat named Sora.

Cake or pie?

Pie...specifically from Briermere Farms in Aquebogue, NY.

What was your journey to becoming a counselor? 

Becoming a counselor for me happened over time. Years ago when I was in youth ministry I was struck with the distinct difference between girls who knew their own worth and those that struggled to believe they were worthy. I couldn't help but notice patterns and the difficult reality of how hard it was to influence someone who, at their core, believed they were unworthy.  The people who believed that they were worthy acted differently and had different expectations of themselves and others. I wanted everyone to have that so badly. I was passionate, and still am, about helping others to understand their own value. To actually believe what Christ says about them and live as if they are fully forgiven, loved, and accepted: it changes everything. When our then-oldest started school, I decided to go back to school as well.

Describe your approach to counseling.

If I had only one thing to give people it would be compassion. Compassion for themselves and for others. Most of us struggle with one or both. 

I don't love putting it this way but I guess my approach is a blend between cognitive behavioral therapy and psychodynamic therapy. I would say that my approach is steeped in attachment theory. I also use a lot of acceptance and commitment therapy techniques and focus on emotionally focused therapy for couples. 

It is an honor and privilege to get to know people's stories. A lot of times, people come into the office, share their heartbreaking, crazy story and then ask me what is wrong with them, and I wonder if they have heard the story they just dared to share with a stranger. I often look at them and say something along the lines of "I'm not sure anything is wrong with you. It is amazing that you are sitting across from me able to share your story at all!" 

I want my client to feel safe, understood and not judged.

I have clients who are both believers and not, and I really love having all types of clients. If someone is a Christ-follower, I want to help them further understand the gospel, live as if they're forgiven, and be curious about God's opinion.

I am heart-focused and solution-oriented. Typically we come about our dysfunction honestly. It is something that got us by and probably saved us at some point. But usually the thing that helped you survive then is the very same thing that will take you and your relationships out in the long run. I want to honor where somebody has come from, help them figure out where they want to go next, and then reverse engineer from there.

What areas of counseling are you most passionate about?

In the reverse engineering process, typically emotional processing is something that comes up and that I'm passionate about. I am a former compartmentalizer (still comes in handy sometimes). Helping people to understand emotions and to be okay with them is rewarding. I love working with people with anxiety and OCD as well as relational issues, worthiness issues, struggles with forgiveness, sexual trauma, and life issues. Being a person is hard!

Any advice for someone considering becoming a counselor? 

Counseling is becoming comfortable with uncomfortable things. You will need to have a lot of grace for yourself and others.