Motherhood and The Need for Support
Photo courtesy of Freepik
As you embark on the journey of motherhood, it is wise to consider the topic of support. Whether you are pregnant for the first time or the fourth time, you’ll find yourself in need of the voices of others when considering everything: feeding, parenting, discipline, and even how to manage it all on top of the life you lived before. No matter your circumstances, there will be a need and necessity for real life, in-person support.
Finding Systems of Support
Motherhood can be an isolating and overwhelming journey, and you may be coming into it feeling woefully undersupported. As such, consider the different kinds of support you can look for. You will most likely need medical support, mental health and psychological support, parenting resources, and babysitting, and while some of this involves professionals whom you’ll need to call in advance and schedule appointments with, there is also a lot that will simply come down to personal support systems in your own community (or lack thereof).
The idea of personal support systems can be a tender topic. You may have imagined that your own parents or siblings would be around to help you in this new season of life, but, as it turns out, they are much too far away or they lack the confidence to care for a young child even if they would like to help. If you’re feeling an absence of family support, I’d like to encourage you that mothers and women can also look simply to friends, both across generations and across the street, for support and guidance. There are great opportunities with groups like “Mom Co” at local churches, and apps and Facebook groups that help mothers in your area find each other and connect.
Connecting with Other Mothers
This is such a healthy practice, leaning on and learning from other women in your life who have walked through experiences just a little before you. The Bible calls us to seek out fellowship with others, whether that is your mom, aunt, or grandmother, or a friend who’s had similar experiences to you, or just someone who can be a listening ear. In scripture, Mary and Elizabeth sought each other out in the tender and precious time of pregnancy. They were overjoyed for each other, and also shared in the beauty of knowing that Mary was bearing the Savior they’d been waiting for.
“When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice, she exclaimed: ‘Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored that the mother of my Lord should come to me? As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.’” - Luke 1:41-44 NIV
Seeking Real Connection
Just like these two women seeking each other out, this kind of support is something that we all need to help create a less isolating environment. It is very easy as a mother in this age to simply ask AI for parenting advice, but there is value in sitting face to face with a peer or mentor. There is value in someone being able to bring you a meal postpartum and being able to cry with you when you are overwhelmed.
We were made to live in community. My encouragement—both before your baby is born and after—is to seek out a gathering where other moms may be, put yourself out there, and engage with those in your similar stage and older. You’ll be able to bounce ideas off of each other and talk through potty-training or the teenage years with someone else who can relate. Be it with family or friends or both, you’ll be a happier and healthier woman and mother when you find your village.